"What is demanded of man is not, as some existential philosophers teach, to endure the meaninglessness of life, but rather to bear his incapacity to grasp its unconditional meaningfulness in rational terms."
(Viktor Frankl)
I slept with a sense that my dreams were treating me like a child, daying "shush, these are not your things" as images tumbled through my head and my private process that makes so little sense to me embarked onthe processof figuring things out and putting them in the place they need to be.
It's taken me a long time to grasp the basic meaning of the quote above, mostly because even in reading it, I immediately jumped to trying to ferret out some rational definitions to go with it. Logic, rationality is something we have imposed on life. It exists to the extent that we can make the connections, but it is a limited understanding of the fullness of the human experience. Things make sense, things follow patterns, things have cause and effect but then there is a whole range of experience that is beyond our capacity to define and form laws and that is the rest of being alive.
I harp on it, go away, return to it and it seems like no matter what tangent I take of exploring - it always brings me back to this.
Our lives, your life, my life have an intrinisic value because we have an infinite capacity for happieness and fulfilment. There is a unique purpose written within each of us, an expression, a form of genius that is ours alone to find.
The responsibility to find it and bing it forth is also ours alone. Life can be singulary defined as a personal responsibility - to live, to act, to become.
In the end, it does not matter how we were raised or how we were treated or what society offers to us because once we have an awareness of the limitations placed upon us - in creed or deed, it becomes our responsibility to surpass them. If in our awareness, we choose to focus and center our lives on how we have been blocked, stopped or denied - we in turn are perpretrating the same ill in our lives rather than learning how to undo the damage done and the damage we have learned to do to ourselves.
Last night, may have finally pushed me back onto a more regular schedule and my little ephiphanies (that actually carry an earth shaking importance in my life) are doing what ephiphanies do, not effecting change in my life - but becoming the checkpoint for my actions from this moment.
Oh coffee and then I am going to hit that site like a whirlwind, I have much to do to get us all out early and I am for damn sure going to get it done.
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